The Limit In A Friendship?

Whether it’s a new boyfriend, flirt or even an old boyfriend your good friend is having problems with and you know he is bad news or don’t like him, should you say it? Should we as girls meddle in our friends love life if we don’t approve of her choices or in the relationship she is having?

Of course we all have our reasons for not liking someone and even more so if we think that the flirt or boyfriend is bad for the friend. But how can we say it and not sound mean or jealous? Is there even a way to go that far in someones love life and tell them “I don’t think that you should date him” or even go further and tell your friend that you think they should break up with their boyfriend?

We all care about our friends of want the best for them, but is it the right thing to do? Will we save her from a heartbreak in the future or will we ruin the friendship and create a fight that might lead to the end of a friendship if we speak our minds?

I have had my own experiences with this topic and with my own friends. I am not a huge fan of meddling in other peoples lives and definitly not when it comes to other peoples relationships. I will help my friends in any way I can but I refuse to decide or even lead them in a certain direction when it comes to their love life. Especially when it comes to a couple that has been together for a long time. I always remember and tell myself that I haven’t gone though the things that the two of them have, I dont know him well enough to know how he is and I don’t know their problems and their good times as well as they do. That is why I never want to say to a friend that has been together with a boy to leave him or to stay with him if they are having problems.

But I ask myself, do we meddle too much? Do friends often become the reason why a couple breaks up? Or are we living in a society that relies too much on our friends to “fix” our problems and or take the hard decisions for us?
Are we too scared to do it ourselves that we make our nearest do it for us? And if so, why is that? Are we just simply afraid of doing it, are we just looking for a good advice or are we maybe a bit selfish and giving the decision to someone else, so that we later on can blame someone else than ourselves if we regret it?

I wonder if this will be different in the future or just even worse…?
We might never find out, but maybe there should be a set of rules about this. Because it really can destroy friendships and relationships. Maybe we are just giving advices without thinking that the things we say can affect someones lives. Both in the positive but also in the negative ways.

 

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3 thoughts on “The Limit In A Friendship?

  1. sofiedixon says:

    I think you are having difficulties keeping track of your emotions/thoughts… you say you aren’t the meddling type, yet you also claimed that you’ve been in the position where YOU disliked the significant other of your friend – maybe explain a bit further, so it doesn’t seem like you’re just making a random statement. You then go on and say that your friend is actually requesting your opinion – how is that meddling? To meddle is to involve yourself in a matter wit out right/invitation – I believe a request for your thought is an invitation, therefore, it is NOT meddling.
    I’m am very sorry, but this did NOT seem to be thought through at all, and seems more as an attempt to vent and reaffirm yourself, rather than you actually having an opinion on the topic you claim to discuss…. one cannot help but wonder – are you having issues with one of your friends, and is it based on that individual not agreeing with your opinion (after inviting you to share it)? or perhaps… are you annoyed by a friend who is sharing their opinion of your love interest (without invitation) ? ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. misschaotico says:

    I think that you misunderstood. I was trying to make a point that it can be difficult to figure out what would be the best way to help af friend out in that kind of situation… Yes, I have been in the situation where I did not think the boy/girl treated my friend the way she/he shoould be treated and I told them that I thought that he/she did something wrong but that it was up to her/him to decide what to do and if it would be something they could forgive him/her for. That is also why I said that I like to give advice and try to help as much as I can, but I would never get to that point where I will be the reason why they break up their relationship.
    The post was never about having trouble figuring out what I think about it or even about being annoyed and not at all about venting, it was my take on this situiaton where I personally think that we tend to rely on our friends a lot, sometimes even too much when it is about realtionships and deciding whether to break up or not or other similar big issues in the relationship.
    But I am glad that you wrote your opinion so that I could explain it more 🙂

    Like

    • sofiedixon says:

      – But you were talking about meddling; the act of getting involved in others business without invitation. Again, you then continue to talk about situations where you have obviously been invited, by being asked “what is your opinion on this guy I like”.

      If you have a friend, and you feel they’re asking too much for your opinion, relying too much on it, I don’t see why you don’t just tell them “hey, no offence – but I don’t feel comfortable giving advice on these personal things”? Any normal person would be able to understand that and not have any hard feelings. Most people prefer the “up-front” method. It also results in the least amount of drama 😉 ^_^

      I ‘kind of’ get that you’re talking about it because you have an opinion on it, but you’re putting it up as a general problem, like “we all know how this is”, yeah okay, we all have friends who fall in love and asks for advice about how and what to do, but that’s just normal ^_^ But I believe it is a minority who’d actually relate to the topic – it still seems like you’re writing for someone specific, rather than *the rest of us* ^_^

      Forgive my, perhaps seemingly, brutal nature ^_^ but I prefer being honest

      Like

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